I bought this book after hearing Mr. Voss on a podcast. He was the lead negotiator with kidnappers for the FBI and had some amazing stories. I had no intention of "learning" anything from this - I just planned on being interested by the stories.
After reading it, I couldn't believe how much I had learned about communication in general and in dealing with difficult situations. I also realized that many managers talk to me about "crucial conversations" - those important and difficult conversations that managers have with employees. We don't have them everyday, but when we do, how we handle them is critical to success and different to recover from if messed up.
Two lessons really are most important to me:
Ask "How do you expect me to do that?"
Never say something you aren't prepared to do.
Mr. Voss does a much better job than I do with explaining those concepts, so read the book to learn more. I will just say that I have followed that advice more than once and it has helped me not only get out of a difficult situation, but actually diffuse it to the point where all parties are happy.
Fortunately for me, if I mess up, an employee gets mad. When Mr. Voss messed up, people could die. Another lesson I guess: Perspective.
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