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Shot Across The Bow, Managing Up Version

Many of the manager behaviors that work with direct reports also works with peers and the manager's manager. However, they usually have a slight twist on the behavior because of the different relationship.

Shot across the bow is one that works as well.

The shot across the bow theory simply says that you don't need to fight when someone disagrees or argues over feedback you've given, simply say "ok" and walk away. Be confident in the fact that they heard. Your job was to communicate and you did that. Because it is an employee and the behavior on which you provided feedback may be important, you can follow up another time.

The theory holds with peers and bosses as well. If you need to give feedback, do not get in an argument or a long discussion about it if the person seems resistant. Simply say what you are going to say and let it go. The fact is, the other person heard. It is their responsibility to decide whether to act on the feedback or not.

The big difference is that you don't bring it up again. If they do, feel free to engage in a productive discussion. However, it is not your place to keep bringing it up. In fact, doing so could hurt the relationship and/or your career.

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